Let me begin by saying I'm not mad. No, instead, I am rather irate. You see, I just had a bad consumer experience. Now in the past I would have griped to a few of my friends, comiserated with my mother and that would have been the end of that. But after reading a chapter in the The New Influencers, and recollecting over the infamous Comcast technician video we saw in class, I shall now blog about this atrocious moment in history and make it an everlasting footnote in the index of the ever-growing internet. So sit back, relax, unwind, and prepare yourself as the story unfolds.
It's cleaning time at my house. This means six college aged males muster up all the courage and might to clean what could be considered a toxic waste dump. This fervor and gallantry only rears its glorious head about once every five months, so it was quite an occasion. There was dusting, sweeping, mopping, Swiffering, and vacuuming. It was a regular parade of cleanliness and after about five hours we were nearly completed. That was until we realized a lot of light bulbs had gone out in the house ever since we moved in, two years ago. It was high time we replaced them. After a quick count, I noticed that indeed 30, I repeat thirty, lightbulbs needed to be replaced. It was then decided we should go to our local hardware mega store and purchase all the lightbulbs we could afford. Keep in mind, we are ready to spend WHATEVER it might cost to buy these bulbs, because by God we are tired of living in the dark, and we are ready for enlightenment (sorry, could not avoid the pun).
Normally, I would not mention the name of the establishment where this atrocity occurred, but since now I am a NEW INFLUENCER, I will gladly post the name of the horrible store we went to:
HOME DEPOT, HOME DEPOT, HOME DEPOT!!!!!
Got it? So, we walk into the store, which quickly resembles the hardware store version of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but not nearly as sweet, and not nearly as magical. With shelves resembling towers and monuments built for electrical fans, chainsaws, lawnmowers, and enough fertilizer to grow grass even in Death Valley I'm thinking this store can supply me with thirty, low cost, 65 watt, indoor floodlight light bulbs. Oh oh oh, was I in for a treat. First of all, after searching for the light bulb aisle as if it were the lost city of Atlantis, we stumble across it. The bulbs we need are moderately easy to locate, but there are two brands and one brand does not have any prices on it. Nearby we locate a button that informs us if we push it, a store attendant will be there quickly to help us. After pushing the button twice and waiting nearly ten minutes, a meandering store clerk somewhat helps us, but is ultimately useless. We find that the ones we want are the following price:
A box deal for 12 bulbs for $34.97. Not bad of a deal, so we decide we can chill on the other six bulbs we need and grab 24 bulbs for $69.94. This roughly makes each bulb only $2.91, a good deal by any measure. So we look to find a box that houses the said 12 bulbs for $34.97, but there is no box to be found. In this entire mega-conglomerate-over stocked-Disneyland-theme park of a hardware store, they don't have the one item we need. So instead of accepting defeat we gather 24 bulbs. Now keep in mind, individually a single bulb is $4.27., much much higher than $2.91. In fact, if we have to pay for the bulbs individually, it will cost us exactly $32.54 MORE out of our poor, empty, college student wallets. So, we plan to explain our situation to the cashier who we assume will be a human, with a heart, and a conciense, and reason, and be able to understand our plight and do the right thing and give us the right price for what we want.
Let's recap real quick. If Home Depot does the right thing, because it's their fault they are out of stock on an item that should be available, especially when I could buy 5,000 buckets of paint in necessary, we save over:
$30 dollars
If they don't do the right, and instead choose to push the customer beneath their heal and crush us like a figurative jellybean we will end up paying:
$102.48
Well, we were wrong. As soon as we get to the check out line, we explain our case and a manager is called. The manager is asked to do a price check and I follow him to where we found our product. He quickly informs me that I am wrong, that the deal for $34.97 is if, AND ONLY IF, those 12 bulbs come together in a single box. It at this moment the only thing seperating me and saving a lot of money is a box. A piece of cardboard. Something I could make if they gave me five minutes, a roll of tape, and some spare scraps from the back. A BOX. I inform the manager that this is ludacris and inane, and ask him if he really wants me to pay for 24 individual light bulbs at nearly twice the price, JUST BECAUSE THE DON'T HAVE A MODIFIED PAPER ENCLOSURE AROUND THEM. And he says and I quote, "Sorry, that's just the way it is, we just happen to be out of stock of the product at the time". And I said, "Well I don't think I'll be buying those light bulbs here." And do you know what he said to me? With those beady, empty eyes, that scraggly-aging, handlebar mustache, and those thick, coke-bottle glasses he said...
"Fine".
Fine that is, as in, "I don't care what you do, I'm old enough to be your father and I don't believe in customer service. Sure, we could have made at least $70 dollars off this transaction, but we are a giant and greedy company, seventy dollars means NOTHING to us! You are just a kid, a child, a petulant pip-squeak and you have no influence or power in this world. Fine." And he danced away gleefully, like a joyous faun might do when celebrating a winter's solstice. Not really, but you get the point, he didn't care about me, or my money. He made me feel like an insignificant loser.
So this has been long, overwrought, somewhat exagerated, and extremely melodramatic, but I don't care. I'm mad. I'm pissed. I have steam shooting out of my ears! And I'm blogging about one of the worst moments of my consumer life. Well to you Mr. Home Depot Manager, I'm through with your services. I will never step foot in your horribly orange and white decorated amusement park of a store again. I am an influencer, and I have a voice. And you sir, well you probably will never read this, nor will anyone for that matter, but it doesn't matter. You are the last fragments of an aging generation that doesn't realize how powerful people like me are. You're company slogan states "You can do it. We can help." Well, I can do it, and you did help by adding fuel to a fire that never should have been lit. Speaking of lit, we ended up buying a lot of light bulbs for cheap at Wal-Mart.
Moral of the story: Don't shop at Home Depot, I know I won't.
4 comments:
OH MY GOD. I had a very similar home depot experience. For my law office job, I am responsible for, every few months, making the rounds at home depot to pick up incidentals, including lightbulbs. The law office, mind you, keeps its lights on all day. So, we go through A LOT of light bulbs. $7.50 light bulbs, in fact. A piece. And I too, had a sign that indicated there was a box deal. Alas, all the boxes were filled with the wrong light bulbs, and I was told I could not combine the 2 different kinds I needed. Same brand, same price, same wattage. I seriously fought with the home depot dude, who then proceeded to attempt to hit on me (jesus), and ended up having my boss talk to the clerk. Are there any competent employees in the lighting dept? Needless to say, I no longer buy the lightbulbs.
You should tell your story to Consumerist. You might get some extra mileage out of it. Thanks for the plug!
Wow Tyler,
you really put them "on notice" as our boy Colbert would say. Kudos to you for taking on the evil corporate giant. You're right, that manager won't read this. In fairness to him, he is probably not paid enough to care. That doesn't excuse his behavior though. He is probably also an age-ist. Most red necks in Austin typically are.
Finally, negative kudos for going to Wal Mart. Talk about not being paid enough to care. Great blog man.
Home Depot's "unbeatable" customer service is not all that it's cracked up to be. This summer my mother spent a lot of time looking at a new dishwasher at our local store (took her more than one trip because she didn't ever get the information and help she needed). After she had decided on the model she wanted she spent a total of a few hours on the phone speaking to someone about purchasing it and having it delivered. Needless to say, a lot of her waiting time consisted of her being put on hold for "a manager" to come and speak with her. First of all, don't they have a billion managers in one store...and not one could come to the phone. And secondly, why did it take a manager to help her? It was something so simple. I can't believe when someone wants to make a thousand dollar purchase, that no one can find the time to actually sale the item and get it done! If customer service isn't good then, how can we expect it will be for a little light bulb? And just a little from their own website..."we want to be sure that your shopping experience with The Home Depot is perfect every time" YEAH RIGHT!! "You can do it, we can help"-Psh!
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